Stop Bending Over - Align Your Life For Radical Success
Welcome to the Stop Bending Over Podcast with Rita Marie Mendez. I’m on a mission to support women to get unstuck, love themselves completely and live the life of their dreams.This podcast isn’t about your lower back pain - it’s about bending over forwards and backwards to either feel screwed or overdo and meet everyone else’s needs, including our businesses, and not fill up our own tanks and desires. For more than a decade in my work as a Transformational Life + Business Coach, I’ve coached women to manifest their dream life, from the inside out. On this show I'll do what I love best - coaching you to actionable strategies both divine and human that inspire and connect you to your authentic self that holds all the wisdom you need to unleash an extraordinary life.Each week I'll share new tools and skills to master this thing we call life!
Stop Bending Over - Align Your Life For Radical Success
(#57) The Hidden Identity Quietly Running Your Life
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Episode Summary
You're not lacking information. You're listening to the podcasts, reading the books, hiring the coaches, and still bumping into the same invisible walls. In this solo episode, transformational business coach Rita Marie Mendez names what's actually in the way: an integration problem, not an information problem. She breaks down how hidden identity patterns formed in childhood are quietly running your decisions, your money, your relationships, and your business, and why cutting the tops off weeds never works when the root is still in the ground.
You'll learn the "no fly list" of limiting words that reveal your patterns in real time, the truth about procrastination (it's not what you think), why real leadership begins with emotional mastery and self-leadership, and the E + R = O formula that puts your power back in your hands. Rita also shares the six pattern awareness questions she uses with her private clients, listed below in the resources.
If you've been asking "what's wrong with me," this episode hands you a better question. Press play.
*Take the free Identity Pattern Assessment and find out which hidden pattern is running your life: Click Here
Key Takeaways
- We no longer have an information problem, we have an integration problem. If information changed lives, everyone listening to podcasts would already be living their dream life. Transformation happens when you integrate what you know.
- Your identity is a set of patterns and belief systems quietly running your life in the background. The more unconscious you are about your unconsciousness, the more a five-year-old version of you is driving the car.
- Procrastination is not real. You are not procrastinating, you are choosing not to do the thing. The nagging you feel is your future asking you to step up while an old pattern fights to keep you safe.
- The pattern that shames you now, once protected you. Whatever you were embarrassed of or built a coping skill around as a child holds the flip side of your superpower once you do the work with it.
- Leadership of yourself always comes first. Nobody follows someone with less leadership skill than they have, and self-leadership is built on emotional mastery, not a title.
The Pattern Awareness Questions
Rita's invitation: don't rush to fix anything. Notice. And when you get an awareness or an aha, write it down, because once it's on paper it's outside of you and you can work with it.
- What is the one thing you've wanted to change that, despite your best efforts, hasn't happened yet?
- Can you lead your thoughts instead of letting them run wild?
- Can you notice a pattern before it hijacks your day?
- Can you keep a promise to yourself when nobody else is watching?
- How am I creating this, or allowing this to happen?
- Who would you become if you stopped making decisions from the version of yourself that was simply trying to survive?
Want to know which pattern is quietly running your life? Take the free Identity Pattern Assessment. It's the fastest way to see the thing you can't see yet, and it's the first step out of the loop:
Timestamps
[01:00] Intro: The Information Problem vs. The Integration Problem
[05:05] Why Awareness Alone Never Changes Your Life
[08:35] Procrastination Is a Lie: The Pattern Underneath
[10:45] Your Outer Life Mirrors Your Inner Reality
[16:50] The "No Fly List" of Limiting Words
[19:50] Self-Leadership Starts With Emotional Mastery
[24:40] Reacting vs. Responding (The E + R = O Formula)
[28:40] 100% Responsibility Is the Path to Freedom
Resources & Links
Free Identity Pattern Assessment – Discover the hidden identity pattern shaping your money, your relationships, and your results. Start here: Take the Quiz
The Identity Gap Workshop – live August 5th. This is where you close the gap between where you are and where your future is asking you to go. Registration opens soon, stay tuned right here.
Please be sure to tag me @RitaMarieMendez on Instagram and share this episode with your community to spread the word if you or someone you know has benefited from this episode! I'd love to hear about your experience!
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Links/Resources:
Rita's Website: Go to the Website
Contact us here: admin@ritamarieconsulting.com