Stop Bending Over - Align Your Life For Radical Success
Welcome to the Stop Bending Over Podcast with Rita Marie Mendez. I’m on a mission to support women to get unstuck, love themselves completely and live the life of their dreams.This podcast isn’t about your lower back pain - it’s about bending over forwards and backwards to either feel screwed or overdo and meet everyone else’s needs, including our businesses, and not fill up our own tanks and desires. For more than a decade in my work as a Transformational Life + Business Coach, I’ve coached women to manifest their dream life, from the inside out. On this show I'll do what I love best - coaching you to actionable strategies both divine and human that inspire and connect you to your authentic self that holds all the wisdom you need to unleash an extraordinary life.Each week I'll share new tools and skills to master this thing we call life!
Stop Bending Over - Align Your Life For Radical Success
(#56) Part 4: The People Pleaser Identity: How to Stop Overgiving and Take Your Power Back
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Episode Summary
In this episode, Rita breaks down the People Pleaser Identity - a core codependent pattern that keeps you stuck in overgiving, burnout, and lack of self-trust. She explains how people pleasing is not kindness, but a learned survival strategy rooted in emotional management. This episode helps you recognize the behavior, understand its origin, and shift into healthier boundaries and self-leadership.
(Part 4 of the 4-part Identity Series)
Top 4 Takeaways
- People pleasing is codependency, not kindness - it’s control disguised as being “nice.”
- Overgiving leads to resentment, burnout, and loss of self-respect.
- You are not responsible for other people’s emotions.
- Real freedom = “I can be okay even if you’re not.”
Timestamps
[00:00] Intro + Identity Series Recap
[04:00] What People Pleasing Really Is (Codependency)
[08:45] How It Shows Up (Overgiving, Overexplaining, Avoidance)
[15:20] The Hidden Cost (Resentment + Losing Yourself)
[22:10] The Shift: Boundaries + Self-Responsibility
Resources & Links
Reflect: Where are you saying yes when you mean no?
Practice: Stop overexplaining - say less, mean it.
Action: Choose one boundary this week and hold it.
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