This is the stop bending over podcast. And no, this isn't a podcast about your lower back pain. This is a place for women to come together, work their shit out, get unstuck, love themselves completely, and live life the way you always wanted. You want a better business, more income, and a kick ass relationship while you're in the right place, ladies, buckle up. No more CO dependency. It's time to level your life up. I'm your host. Rita Marie Mendez, and this is the stop bending over podcast. Align your life for radical success. Hey there. This is for all my beautiful ladies that are ready to step in to the next level self, your vision where wealth, freedom and ease become your new normal. Well, that's exactly what we're doing inside wealth and wisdom. This is my six month High Level Mastermind for powerhouse women just like you. 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We're going for something that literally shifts the identity and self perception of who you think you are. Because I'll tell you right now, if you're listening to this and this is resonating with you, who you think you are is muddled up with a lot of limiting beliefs and misunderstandings about what's possible for you. So operating from possibility rather than probability is what we move into. So if you're ready to be rich, as rich as fuck, not just in money, but in every part of your life. Wealth is not just dollars in the bank. Let's get real. It's about having time, freedom, deep connection in an empowered way of showing up in your life that lights you up every single day. Wealth and wisdom is the mastermind. Where these women you come together and step into your birthright of abundance. We clear blocks, we regulate your nervous system and set really strong boundaries and standards to help you do more of what you love and and and be rewarded for that. Life rewards the bold. So this is where strategy meets alignment, and life starts flowing in your favor. So if you're done playing small and ready to call in true wealth, this is your moment. So this only happens once a year. You can hop in there, book a call with me. It's absolutely complimentary, and we'll just see if it's a good fit for you. And I want to add something to this is that the the deepest betrayal a woman can ever experience is not when someone cheats on her or steal something for her or take something from her. It's when we betray ourselves. And betraying ourselves is something that we're so used to doing, we don't even know we're doing it. So if you're ready to say yes to you and step in with courage and just step in and say yes, then wealth and wisdom is the program for you. Book a call with me. We'll see if it's a good fit. I love you. All Be blessed. Welcome back to the stop bending over podcast. Align your life for radical success. I'm your host. Rita Marie Mendez, today's episode is really a product of some coaching calls and some group workshops that I've been doing as you know, the last you know, over the last month, that's why I took a break from podcasting. And now remember, you guys are my accountability partners. Every week I am posting an episode, and you know what I've come across more and more, and this year, in 2025 what I've committed to is really looking at the past of what I've come across like I was saying, of all these hundreds of and hundreds of people that I've coached and 1000s of hours that I've coached, and what I see as part of the human experience and what I can support people on. And one of the things that's been really evident at the beginning of this year so far and towards the end of last year is this energy of story and fear and scarcity, and I'll explain all three of those. So the energy of story is, to me, when we have things happen, and I've shared this many times on this podcast, when we have childhood experiences. That create something inside of us that needs to cope, a part of us that needs to cope with whatever the experience is, usually something negative. That can be from the family of origin. It could be from, you know, other kids at school, teachers, caregivers, any, any of those, and all of those. So anytime we have an experience and the child needs to cope with that. We make those experiences mean something about us. It's not conscious. They're just doing it to cope. And so then I create a strategy from that meaning to be able to be with that experience, whether it's ongoing, recurring, or a one time the child takes that in. Okay, great. So now we have this. We'll call it a core wound. We all have them. It's part of the human condition. And then core beliefs come out of that core wound. So for those of you that track with me and follow this podcast, that's kind of just a you know, I'm going to give you this this once over again, just so everyone that's new that's listening can really bring this home for themselves. So now we have a core belief about us that isn't true. And what happens is our core beliefs create a filter in how we see the world, how we perceive experiences, people, relationships, and also what we're able to receive. So this is today's episode. Is about this story, right? What we how we perceive, and then our own identity around that, and fear and scarcity. And so the fear and scarcity basically the same thing, because scarcity says, I am looking through the lens of fear to see what isn't present, to see what isn't possible, to see I don't have enough. One of the first questions I'm going to pose in this episode for you is, what's enough, whether that's money or love, belongings, things, people, clients, what is enough for you? So I got asked that question years ago in my I did a master's program in spiritual psychology back in 2012 and I remember one of my issues was always thinking that I didn't have enough money. It was this thing with money, and it was about the enoughness of it. And my professor at the time had said, Well, what's enough? And I said, Well, I don't know. And I said, I don't know. I made up some number. I don't even know what I had said to him, let's say it's a million dollars. I don't know. And he's like, Well, is that enough, though, whatever the number, let's pretend I said, a million dollars, a million dollars. And he said, Well, how do you know that's enough? And I said, Well, I guess I don't, until I get there, he's like, right? Because enough is an inside job. Enough is not the number that we put on it. What is enough? So what is enough for you? What is enough money? What is enough clients? What is enough when it comes to loving relationship? What's enough in your relationship to keep you satisfied? So this all, and this, all of it, comes back to our core beliefs about what's possible for us, and are we seeing the world out of probability, the past or possibility, which is an opening into the future and into the present moment. And in order to be in possibility, to live in possibility, we have to be willing and open to receiving. And what I find most is women not being great receivers, because we're so busy giving and doing and pouring into other people that we forget about us. We if we're even on the list, many times we're last on the list. So the first question is, what's enough? That's number one. And number two is, you know, what is your capacity to receive right now? And maybe you don't know the answer to either one of those questions, and that's okay, but these are just questions for you to think about, to ponder, to allow them to bubble up, because when you ask yourself really great questions, your unconscious, your reticular activating system, your energy, will look for answers for you that are meaningful to you. And so let's switch over to the perception piece about what we perceive in the world is enough, or what we perceive in the world is against us or for us. And so we're going to kind of go through these four levels. I'll call them four levels of consciousness, or awareness for right now. And so my perception, if I'm at the very baseline of level of consciousness of pretty dense, let's say pretty 3d in this world, really, maybe not even tracking with all this shit that I'm saying, like, I don't know, Rita, that sounds like a bunch of shit. I don't know. I'm good. I'm good. Well, you probably won't keep listening. So you're that's probably not you, just in case, it's you and you're new, then just hear me out. So let's say we're really attached to this 3d dense world that we live in, physical body, the desk in front of me, the computer, all the things, right? This. There's that's one level, that's a frequency. Everything vibrates at an energetic frequency. Everything is an atom made up of compound and of atoms, right? Everything the desk, the cup, your computer, your body, your car. So everything vibrates at a secret a frequency. So whatever you're tuned into is what you're attracting. So I'll say that again, whatever you're tuned into is what you're attracting. Tuned into a low level perception of possibility, then you're going to see that because your perception is your reality, your language creates your reality. Your language is your filter, your eye how you see things, it's a filter based in your belief system. And your beliefs are nothing more than thoughts that you've thought so many times you believe them to be true. So today, is it possible for you, any story that you have running right now, any story in your mind about you, that limits you, about you that limits you. Is it possible that that story isn't real, that that story isn't accurate about who you are? Is that a possibility? Are you willing to even consider that things that you've been saying about yourself aren't true because a core belief has us believing things that are limiting to us when when they come from a core wound. Let me, let me make sure that you know that. And so when you do that, when you see life through the lens of limits, now you've tuned your frequency way, way, way down. So the level of consciousness, we'll call it level of awareness. We'll call it level of awareness is that things are happening to me, to me. I can't believe that they did that. That's not what they said they were going to do. I can't believe this is happening to me. It always happens to me. Another one is one of the ones I hear. Another one is I never get this is a good one that one of my friends would always say to me when I was in the car with her, well, it's me. So of course, I'm not going to get a front spot. It's going to take me 10 minutes to find a parking spot, because you see that parking lot is against her, in her, in her mind. That's what happens, because it's her. So how many of us think like that, like, well, it's me. So of course, that happened. So those small, seemingly small, insignificant thoughts are very significant because they are programming your reality through your thoughts, your beliefs and your words and your languaging, because out of all those things, comes your behavior. And so this, this to me, awareness has been really showing up in a lot of my coaching lately, where when someone gets triggered, they instantly go a trigger means that something has happened. In my world, there's an experience, and I'm going to use an example to hypothetical, but it's just kind of relevant to what I've been seeing a lot lately, the last three and four months, and this is like, we'll say, it's in business, and one company is doing something to me, to my company, my business, and that's not what I signed up for, instead of moving into a position of ownership and empowerment. So to me, remember, to me is the first level of awareness. The next level of awareness is for me. So we're raising up your frequency. Your energetic is going up a notch. So you're growing in your energetic expansion and who you are in growth, spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and behaviorally. By seeing that, wait a second. Could this be happening for my benefit? Could who I perceive as this bully actually be challenging me as an opportunity for growth and expansion in my own self leadership? Look at that. Yes. The answer is yes. That's exactly what it is that's the for me, that's the next level up of awareness for me. This is happening for me, and now I get to see this as How can I grow from this? What about this is a blind spot for me. I'm being triggered. So that means there's something here from the past that is coming forward into the present moment. This is what triggering means. And it's triggering a reaction, not a response, a reaction that doesn't match the situation. It could be anger, upset, sadness, frustration. Usually it's anger, lots of blaming and complaining. That is a victim mentality. That's when you know you're triggered, because a victim mentality comes from a part of us that's unprocessed, still hasn't been processed yet. Great. That means you have an opportunity to see it, but first you have to, well, not you have to. First you the awareness that it's happening to me. Me has to be the awareness that says, like, wait a second, there's the pause that now I'm responding. The pause is the response, not the reaction. Wait a minute, I've been reacting to this deep breath. Okay, I'm aware that I'm super fucking triggered. I don't like this, I don't like them. I'm angry at them, and then I get to see all my frustrations and upsets are for me. What is this teaching me? What is the lesson here? How will this support me in moving forward, in my own personal growth and self leadership, and therefore, because I take me wherever I go. Now, look at my perception just shifted. I can see things through a different lens. Now my business is going to shift. Do you know what happens? You're open to receive more more money, more answers, more solutions, more anything, more everything. Because I'm in receiving mode now I'm not in victim mode. I'm in creator mode. So now we've got our first level, which is happening to me, I've got a victim's mentality, and I'm reacting the next level is for me, and in for me, I see it as a benefit for my growth and expansion. Being on this planet, I get to expand and grow in consciousness and money and loving and all the things that my receiving opens up and for me, awareness that level, the receivership opens up for me, the next level up is things are happening by me, meaning I have this control over how things are happening. They're happening by me. I'm the creator. I'm co creating. God is my co pilot. The universe is my co pilot. These things are happening by me. And then we're going to go one level up, and we're going to say through me, because as women, we are the vessel of receivership. Things are happening through me, literally, our bodies are made to receive, and what comes through us can't whether you have children or not, a child can pass through us. That is, we're creating a life, our bodies, our mind, our emotions, every center of our being. This is my own take on women. We are so empowered. Our bodies are literal miracles walking this planet. And can we give ourselves the grace? Can we give ourselves the accolades? Can we give ourselves the kindness to recognize that we are receivers on a physical level and an energetic level, knowing you don't have to have kids, to know that our bodies are literally the most amazing things to me that we can do, that we can bring a life into this world, and we do it all the time by birthing a business, birthing a relationship, birthing a new awareness in our body, temple or in our mind. And this is the benefit of of personal transformation, this kind of work and just growing in your level of awareness for what's possible for you, anything is possible for you when you see the world through the lens of possibility. And in order to do that, we get to start questioning all the thoughts that stand in the way of whatever it is that we want to experience and create. And so this way of being moving up the levels of awareness, from for me, to to me, by me, and then through me, and then to me, there's an ultimate level, and that's just me, meaning just God, just being one with the Creator, whether it's the word God or universe, whatever you use, that's the tip tippity top for me is That level of fifth level of awareness is just there's no words there. It's just being. It's just being. Can we just be? And most of us, you know, we're you know our minds are literally made. We have a higher mind to run the hamster wheel, especially as entrepreneurs. And so today, what I just wanted to bring this to you, because it's been so on my heart is you know is, where are you giving your power away? Where are you? Where have you blocked your own receiving, right? Where have you blocked your own receiving? What belief about myself no longer serves me? Asking yourself these beautiful questions allows just the unfolding and opening for a level of awareness to show up, just the just a little bit higher, turning the frequency just a little bit higher, right? And then from there, moving from the probability thinking, from the past to possibility, and shifting our focus and our. Perspective and a new way of being with ourselves, to the unfolding of what's present and what's possible for us. And that takes that takes awareness, and it takes a commitment to doing this work and really questioning the beliefs that you've had about yourself, the negative internal dialog absolutely not true, and questioning some untruths that you've bought into about what's possible for you on the physical plane, just plain old 3d what's possible for your business, what's possible for you when it comes to your money, what's possible for you when it comes to being in a loving, intimate, healthy partnership, partnership. And you know, when it comes to who you're being on this planet, what is it that you would like people to remember about you? You know, one of my coaches said, Oh, I don't want people to remember anything about me, because then that focus would be on me. And I thought, wow, that was really cool. At the same time, it's like, you know, what is the legacy that you wanting to create for your children, for yourself, for your business, for your community, whatever that looks like. It requires you to move up that level, the levels of awareness, so that you're showing up at the highest level that you can in the moment doing your best. Can you give yourself some grace about doing your best? And so when there's areas, I won't say if there's areas, I will say when there's areas in our lives that aren't working, just know that it affects all the other areas if in your life. So if one of your foundational pieces is health and fitness, which it is, because this is our body temple, this houses our soul, which carries us around. When that's not tracking, maybe your hormones are off, your weight is too much, your diet is poor, your energy is low. When that isn't tracking, it's affecting all the other areas of your life, that's your money, that's your your relationships, your business, all of those things matter. So you take you wherever you go. So looking at all the different areas of your life, you know, in my new group, that's starting wealth and wisdom. It starts in March, at the end of March, in 2025 we look at all the areas and we address them all your environment, everything that matters, you know, is, like I've said it before on this podcast, is your office or your home office, or your office at work, or your work environment? Is that? Is that really reflecting back to you who you're becoming as an entrepreneur, or a C suite, or a C level, or whatever your position is. Is it indicative of who you're becoming and what you're creating, and when it's not, then you get to look at it and say, wow, I've got some environment issues to clean up. Maybe I have clutter. My desk needs to be more organized. My garage, when we start cleaning things out, we create a vacuum for our space to be filled, and we get to ask for what we want to bring into the vessel. I want clarity, right? Clarity comes What does clarity come from? Clarity comes from asking great questions, but taking the downtime again. I'm going to go back to the energetics, slowing way down to be with yourself, and just allow some really beautiful questions in your thinking time, in your meditation, so that you can allow the answers to bubble up inside of you, rather than looking external for solutions and answers. I guarantee you that the answer to every issue you've ever had you it's already somewhere in your psyche, in your body, temple, in your awareness, in the collective consciousness that could drop down in your in your mind at any moment, from wherever else it is in the ethers, when we're available to receive it. So that's that's my message today is just be available to receive, and we have so many blocks to receiving because we think we're not worthy. We're not good enough. All this bullshit. And it is bullshit. It is absolutely not true. And so someone asked, and I think I said this on the last episode, can you tell me how to stop doing that? Yes, I can stop doing that. So, okay, I'm kidding, but really stop doing that. It's becoming aware of it as you're thinking it in the moment. Is thinking, Wow, is this true? Is this true right now, what I'm thinking is this true? Deep breath, no, I feel myself going down that. You know, I want to be a victim right now. I want, but no one ever says I want to be a victim. Because anytime that someone comes to me and they're super in the Drama Triangle, in the victim, any of the roles in the Drama Triangle, which are all victim roles, when they're in it to win it, and I say victim, they get super triggered. Oh, I'm not a victim. Hands down 100% we're. Not victims were showing up as one in the moment in that situation. And so when you want to get out of that, when you're ready to shift that, that's when then you get to be with yourself tuning your frequency to a different station that receives more more information, more goodness, more kindness, more of all the things, more abundance, more prosperity, and more love. Because we have all the love in the world inside of us, and it's blocked off in certain areas that where we've been hurt before. And so, you know, going back to this, the receivership, and you're being with yourself. How do I say it? And just being with yourself takes self discipline, because you have. You get to be willing to allow and receive and give yourself the downtime, give yourself the meditation moment, give yourself the playfulness time and so, you know, I hope this episode is is really resonating with anyone that needs to hear it. I don't know who needs to hear it. About receivership and letting go of this against nest with have things happening to me, because I've been hearing that a lot lately. Things are happening to me. I don't like this. They're doing that. So now they've got this other business, put in the bully role, and I'm in the victim role right from the get go. That's how it's that's how it goes. The only way to remove yourself from the Drama Triangle is to move into the Empowered triangle, the empowered way of being. And it takes one simple thing, a shift in perception, a change in the mind. That's all. That's why I say in the amount of time it takes you to change your mind, you can change your life right there. That's that simple. And, and what most people are not willing to do is change your mind. No, I'm right, and I'm this is my story, and I'm fucking sticking to it. And, and when you release that, when you let go of like possibly, I can be looking at this like they're doing something to me. That's just how it feels great. Is every feeling that you've ever felt accurate, or is it coming from a thought where you're being triggered by the past that says I'm scared, I'm afraid they're taking something from me, because if that's the feeling that's not accurate. So do you see moving into the empowered way of being requires a shift in perception, requires you to see like, How can I learn? How can I increase my self leadership? Where is the opportunity for my growth in this? Maybe it is to separate from that other business and see that as just not a good fit, or to renegotiate the agreement so it is a good fit. That's a simple solution. Most people don't do that, though. They blame and complain, and they stay stuck in the Drama Triangle, and then the results of that blaming and complaining show up in their business. And you know what that means is that I'm not ready to grow and expand. I want to stay safe and what have I always say to you guys, familiarity does not equal safety. So just because the nervous system feels safe does not mean that you are safe. It's just familiar. And so when we want to grow and expand our consciousness, when we want to grow and expand our awareness, when we want to grow and expand our businesses and our money and our capacity to receive it requires a new mind, which just means a shift in perception. You can do it. You've got this. You've got me on the side of you. Ever want to DM me and give me a subject that you would love to hear me coach you on DME on Instagram at Rita Marie Mendez, I am more than happy to put it on the podcast here, and you can get some coaching by DMing me an issue that you might be having that you would like to hear me coach on. So I hope this was helpful. It was a little impromptu. So if it was a little all over the place, I would apologies, but I would apologize, but I'm not going to, because I don't know. I'm just not. It's a podcast, so I hope this was helpful. If you think this was something that one of your friends might need to hear, share it with them. Spread the word, spread the love, and let's bring the awareness and the consciousness of the planet up a notch today. And you can do that by being kind to yourself and being kind to others. So this is me to you, saying, Love you all be blessed. Thanks so much for joining me today. And remember, any links or websites that are mentioned in the show will always be in the show notes of each episode. And if we haven't connected yet, please come over and find me on Instagram at Rita Marie Mendez and send me a DM. Let me know what you thought of this episode. Tell me a little bit about yourself and ask me questions. I love questions. I'm here to support you in your growth and expansion. Thanks for tuning in, and if you love the show, follow, subscribe and go ahead and give it a rating and review five stars, of course, until next time, beautiful ones, be blessed. You.